time to take care.
It is time to take a step back and think.
I have seemed to become a sullen person and total out of this world. There are many things that were important to me in the past but I just don’t really bother about them now. More withdrawn, you might say.
I really hesitate to reject anything or anyone because of my CCA stuff or such… It is starting to get tiring to give the same reason that “I don’t think I can make it today… there’s daiko.” Or “hey, i have to rush off first… there’s daiko”.
It is not that I do not love the drums and people anymore. But I think I should just get my priorities right… I feel very remorseful to cancel the CRS project just because the training is extended from 10-5pm… I do not blame anyone for this… I only expect people to blame me… though my group mates do not blame me…
And I should just stop asking for extra work or exam script. Right now, I do not even know if I have the time to complete the PACC exam scripts.
Ok I shall stop all the emo-ing… let me talk about today’s intensive training. It was not as bad as I thought. Mr Hidano is very nice; putting no airs at all even though he is a renowned figure. He is patient and motivating. I thought I might just get ticked off for my blur-ness but I was not. I erred a lot today and obviously no confidence in myself when I had to play individually. Getting into the rhythm at the wrong timing, creating beats that just sound unlike everyone else’s, losing count, mental block halfway through and unable to absorb fast. Anyway, it is the typical Veronica during training. haha
One thing I should remember is that I have to love the drums, having the constant urge and hungry for more practices and learning. Plus, it is the speed that counts; the expression we give when we are playing the drums, and many more. (:
Although I presume that tomorrow my whole body is going to ache from all the yoga-like warm up and constant pressure on my wrists… the warm up was so… I couldn’t believe I could lie down with my legs tucked under my thighs… of course with some “crack” sound coming from my ankles.. shiok! Haha… my hands are all wobbly now!
God, please don’t put off the flame that’s already starting to burn…
I have seemed to become a sullen person and total out of this world. There are many things that were important to me in the past but I just don’t really bother about them now. More withdrawn, you might say.
I really hesitate to reject anything or anyone because of my CCA stuff or such… It is starting to get tiring to give the same reason that “I don’t think I can make it today… there’s daiko.” Or “hey, i have to rush off first… there’s daiko”.
It is not that I do not love the drums and people anymore. But I think I should just get my priorities right… I feel very remorseful to cancel the CRS project just because the training is extended from 10-5pm… I do not blame anyone for this… I only expect people to blame me… though my group mates do not blame me…
And I should just stop asking for extra work or exam script. Right now, I do not even know if I have the time to complete the PACC exam scripts.
Ok I shall stop all the emo-ing… let me talk about today’s intensive training. It was not as bad as I thought. Mr Hidano is very nice; putting no airs at all even though he is a renowned figure. He is patient and motivating. I thought I might just get ticked off for my blur-ness but I was not. I erred a lot today and obviously no confidence in myself when I had to play individually. Getting into the rhythm at the wrong timing, creating beats that just sound unlike everyone else’s, losing count, mental block halfway through and unable to absorb fast. Anyway, it is the typical Veronica during training. haha
One thing I should remember is that I have to love the drums, having the constant urge and hungry for more practices and learning. Plus, it is the speed that counts; the expression we give when we are playing the drums, and many more. (:
Although I presume that tomorrow my whole body is going to ache from all the yoga-like warm up and constant pressure on my wrists… the warm up was so… I couldn’t believe I could lie down with my legs tucked under my thighs… of course with some “crack” sound coming from my ankles.. shiok! Haha… my hands are all wobbly now!
God, please don’t put off the flame that’s already starting to burn…
posted by Veronica at
19:41
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